Category: Faith Talk

For those of you who follow our monthly writings, thank you. Your readership means a lot to me. As you know, each month we have been talking about the challenges we face as landscapers in converting our client’s yard into something that is uniquely theirs and uniquely beautiful. It takes time, thought, questions, and creativity, but by not hurrying the process, the end result are the pictures that I have been pleased to show you. Life is like that. It takes time to raise a child, to be a good spouse, and to develop your skills at work. Also, it takes an act of one’s will to keep moving forward in life and not become trapped in negative emotions.

This year’s Christmas article was a personal challenge for me; not in writing it, but whether to write on a new topic, or because of all the responses from last year, to allow The Gift that Heals to run again. The topic of the article deals with the harder side of life, which is an area that is always difficult, and knowing several people who are right now dealing with this, my decision became clearer. So, allow this article to be like a “diagnostic test” for you to check the health of your soul, for this is one area that can cripple us and rob us of any joy or peace or love of life we might have. And I would prefer us to enjoy the holidays to the fullest and not be hindered. Also, I would invite you to read Part II of this article, Heaven’s Hope, Grace Unmeasured, by going to our website and clicking on publications. Scroll to December and click on Part II. I promise you it will be more than worth the read.

Now let’s get started. As a landscaper, it has been my privilege to build relationships with our clients and their families. Over the course of a project, I am blessed to become a friend, at times a counselor or an encourager, and in some cases even “Uncle Arthur” to the children. That is how I come to you today, not as a professional, but as a friend. We will not talk about the gardens we plant but rather the “garden of our soul.” I will be sharing my faith with you—the beliefs that guide my life.

Like a garden, our souls need tending. We can get weeds (attitudes), we need pruning (character development), and we all like water and fertilizer (love and encouragement). Today, I want to talk about a weed that can devastate our relationships, be it spouse-to-spouse, parent-to-child, friend-to-friend, neighbor-to-neighbor, or coworker-to- coworker. In agricultural terms, it would be classified as a “noxious weed,” which means that it is so incredibly invasive and hard to control that it must be eradicated at all cost. It is a weed that if left unchecked could ruin the whole crop. One of the most “noxious soul weeds” is the weed of resentment.

Resentment has one face, but it can be sown into our soul through many means. The “seed” is a personal offense—someone has offended me in speech or action. It could be someone close to me, like a family member or friend or a coworker or neighbor— but in one form or another “my rights” were violated. Something was taken that was not given or injured and not made right. Sometimes people are not even aware that they have offended us. In other cases, the wound is inflicted more purposefully. Either way, we can seek to “pull the weed” or let it spread. In medical terms, we can “treat the wound” or let it fester. A festering wound is the soil in which resentment becomes a noxious weed.

Webster offers several definitions to describe resentment, including, “exhibiting intense animosity” and “rawness.” If these deeply intense feelings were physical weights on one’s shoulders, it would be like trying to carry ten pieces of fully packed luggage on our backs and under our arms for the whole of our life! How inhibiting and emotionally exhausting that would be, and we definitely would be rubbed raw. At times, we may even wonder how the situation got so out of hand. Well, just like in gardening, to be inactive is to allow the weeds to be active. Unkindness breeds unkindness and resentment breeds resentment; bitterness breeds bitterness and hatred breeds hatred, and there is no end to it. It is a poison that runs deep and contaminates much beyond the borders of two people. It even affects “non-target relationships” (an agricultural term describing damage done outside the target area). In other words, our resentment hurts others not directly related to the situation, bringing more injury to ourselves and creating barriers to other meaningful relationships. If you are honest with yourself, you know this to be true. Resentment is always there, only a thought away. It makes us snappy, impatient, angry, and in general a pain to be around. We become a burden, instead of a burden lifter; our presence alone becomes a weight to others. Some of us learn to compartmentalize our hurts, and as long as we stay away from that person or from thoughts of them, we do alright. At least that’s what we think. In reality, it’s like running a complex software program while working in another; it weighs down the overall performance of the computer. Our souls are no different; emotional energy is being expended.

As “unworthy” a person may be of forgiveness, to not forgive and contaminate or potentially ruin other relationships that could bring you happiness and enjoyment is not wise. Regardless of whether the offender has asked for forgiveness, forgive for your sake. Let the bitterness and resentment stay in the past. Why bring it into the present? Allow the love of others to come into your soul, diluting the poison that still remains. Resentment and bitterness only keep YOU captive. It is much better to engage in life again, for behind the bars of bitterness, surely what flicker of life is left will soon go out, leaving only a darkened soul.

I know I’ve said a lot, and I can hear some of you say, “If only I could…” Some wounds which we carry are so deep, they seem impossible to release. I understand, so let me share with you a story that might help. It is a parable that Jesus told.

The story involves a ruler and a servant, but it starts with a question from Peter regarding forgiveness (Matthew 18:21-35). Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” (Peter thought he was being generous.) Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.” In other words, there is no limit.

To illustrate his answer, Jesus told this parable: “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents (millions of dollars) was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had to be sold to repay the debt (this was common practice). The servant fell on his knees before him. Be patient with me, he begged, and I will pay back everything.”

Now, as a side note, the servant’s words are just words in a time of great difficulty. There was no way this servant would ever be able to pay back such an astronomical debt. He was obviously a servant with authority, one of position under the master, but he was a terrible steward with what he was entrusted. Undoubtedly, he was spending the master’s money to his benefit. You might say he was a thief with royal protection until now that his stewardship is brought into question. Yet, “The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.”

If you’ve never heard the story before, I am sure the master’s response came as a surprise. You would also think that the servant who had been forgiven so much would be a changed man. Let’s see: “But when the servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii (a few dollars in comparison). He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’” The servant refused. Instead, he had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.

The servant’s hard-heartedness and incredible lack of mercy is incomprehensible. He could not find it in his heart to forgive a fellow servant, an equal; the greatness of his own pardon had not been valued. So when the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything. Then the master called the servant in. “You wicked servant,” he said. “I canceled all your debt because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” In anger the master turned him over the jailers until he should pay back all he owed. The servant’s lack of mercy came back to judge him, and found guilty, he will spend the rest of his days in jail.

So let’s ask some questions. In the story, who is the master? The master is God. And who is the servant with the enormous debt? We are the servant. Finally, who is the other servant? He is our fellow man, whether a spouse, child, coworker or friend. The point that Jesus was teaching was if God, who is Holy and Just can see to forgive a repentant heart, who are we not to forgive one another. If the Greater forgives the lesser, should not the lesser forgive his or her equal? Indeed, which of us has not offended; which of us is so much better than the rest that we can stand as judge? As stated, who are we hurting by not forgiving? We are only hurting ourselves. How much better it is to forgive! How good it feels to forgive, to release the offense, and to seek peace. It’s healing to our inner being and to the fractured relationship—a fresh breath on life. Why would I want to keep all that poison inside? Would it not be to my betterment to “forgive my fellow servant”? For before a Holy God, we all stand guilty. Not one of us is holy, just, and without sin. We are all like the servant who owed much more than he could ever repay. Yet, God is willing to forgive us completely.

The Bible teaches that God is not only willing to forgive, but also that He forgets our sins when we confess them unto Him. He who would have every right to keep record does not. In Isaiah, Chapter 1, Verse 18, God speaks tenderly to His people saying, “Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as (white as) wool…” Amazing! The Creator God wants to come to reason with His creation! Yet, as incredible as that is, it is true. The divine mercy He offers is the key to us becoming a more merciful person. For once you experience the graciousness of God and His forgiveness and love for you, you understand how much grace we all need. Giving The Gift that Heals begins with receiving it, and by receiving it and being changed by it, we in turn are able to extend it. So let’s get the weed of resentment out of our souls and begin to live life.

During this Christmas season, instead of discussing landscaping, I am excited to have the opportunity to talk with you about The Giving Of Grace and how it relates to the person inside of us, our Soul, who makes us who we are. The Giving of Grace is so important, yet so neglected, in the hurried lives we live.

In our lives, we fulfill many roles: parent, spouse, manager, fellow employee, neighbor, etc. What defines us is the way we respond to these roles. We are constantly being observed and people get to know us via this medium. We touch lives every day and develop relationships that we value. It is so important that these relationships are positive in nature. However, as you are well aware, conflict is an unfortunate reality. But what causes conflict? Is there a way we can minimize it?

Part of the answer lies in the way we perceive the world around us. We all look at life through an internal lens. That lens has been shaped by our unique personalities, by the way we were raised, and by other significant life experiences. Perhaps you are naturally outgoing, or perhaps you are shy. Maybe your relationship with your parents was healthy, or maybe it was hurtful. You may have been blessed by many good things, or it may seem like your life is full of trials. These things all influence the way you see and interpret events. The same is true of your children, your spouse, your boss and your neighbor, who have each been influenced by personality, upbringing and major life events. This is why two people can hear the same conversation or share a situation and view it completely differently. What is viewed positively by one person may feel entirely negative to another. This is one of the things that causes conflicts, and it is one of reasons why we need to give one another grace.

But what is grace? It’s not a word we use very often, except in reference to prayer before a meal. Is this the grace I mean? No, the grace I am talking about is relational. It acts as a bridge, connecting and reconnecting people. If you are a student of the Scriptures, you know that grace is a word often used to describe God’s dealings with us – a love unmerited and unfortunately oftentimes not appreciated. God grants grace to connect us to Him. To show you what I mean, I am going to use some real-life experiences as examples.

My first story begins with a breakfast I recently shared with my daughter, who is in her mid-twenties. Over the meal, we talked about her work as a manager in a women’s retail store. She was especially concerned about a particular employee, who was responsible for keeping the store neat, dusted and clean. The problem was that the employee wasn’t doing the work as well as it could be done, let alone to the standards of other local outlets of the same store. My daughter already had talked about the problem with her boss and the employee. But the discussion with the employee did not result in improvement. Now my daughter needed to decide what to do about the situation. Should she fire this young woman? It would be reasonable to do so because she was not doing the work she had been hired to do. Nonetheless, I suggested an alternative. Believing that there may be a language barrier, I asked would it possible for this employee to shadow her counterpart at another store. That way she could learn the expectations and routine visually. So instead of getting what she deserved, this young woman was given an unmerited gift—a kind of second chance. Is this grace?

Now let’s look at another very different example. I think we all know people who give to get. In other words, their “kindness” has a hook or expectations attached to it. When what they expect in return is not received, an argument ensues or some form of “discipline” is metered out. Taken to the extreme, conflicts like these can develop into very unhealthy, even toxic relationships. The truth is, to one extent or another, we are all guilty of giving to get. Although we don’t think of it this way, in our secret hearts we often expect a return on our giving. We may even judge the appropriateness of the return, determining whether we are receiving our fair share. Think about the phrase, “I will meet you half way.” If we do not perceive that the other person has come far enough, there is a fall out. Whether the half-way “deal” was a spoken or unspoken expectation, consciously asked for or unconsciously assumed, this kind of giving creates conflict every day between husband wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, parent and child; in essence, in all our relationships. And why do we not “go all the way”? Why only half? Could this be an example of a need for grace?

Let’s examine this a bit more. Aside from the immediate conflict the give-to-get mentality poses,there are three other significant problems. The first is that the give-get equation seems to make sense. If I give to you, shouldn’t you want to give something back to me? After all, I’ve earned it. The second problem is that the giving is at times “announced” through words and/or deeds, but our expectation of receiving something in return oftentimes is hidden. For instance, if you make a special dinner for your husband on his birthday, you probably expect to be thanked for it. You might also expect some amount of praise for your effort. But when you serve him, you don’t say, “Here, my love, I have gone to a great deal of effort to make you this special dinner. Now your job is to show me how much you appreciate my effort by complimenting me on the dinner”. Now a compliment back makes sense, and more times than not your husband is thrilled. But what if very little is said? Maybe his favorite football team is playing, and he takes “your special dinner” to the T.V. room barely saying thank you as he rushes off? What will you do? Whatever action you take, know that it will be because you had an expectation that was not adequately met.

The third problem is that we often don’t realize that we expected something until we do not receive it. We often give believing that we have done so freely, without obligation to or from the receiver. Yet we are secretly disappointed, even upset, when our “free gift” doesn’t produce a return. I speak from personal experience; something that is now an embarrassment to me. In our earlier years of marriage (now married 34 yrs), I was this kind of man – a silent scorekeeper. I knew exactly what I had given, and when my unspoken expectations were not met, there was conflict. Sometimes I would say something, and sometimes the “conflict” was one of silence, where I would just disengage from the relationship (a pity party as I call it now). This response is all too common! Talk about needing grace! My daughter’s employee was facing a language barrier; I on the other hand had a heart barrier.

These two stories help us see the need for grace. Now let’s define it. Grace is an unmerited gift given to benefit another without expecting anything in return. My daughter, for instance, did not expect that the young lady who was not fired would “owe” her anything personally.

Now let me tell you what is amazing about grace, and this is very personal. Some of you will disagree, and that’s okay. We will always remain friends. Like you, I view life through an internal lens. And like you, that lens has been shaped by my personality, my upbringing and other significant life experiences. However, my greatest influence has been the study of the Scriptures (the Bible). It is said, if you want to be great, study great men. I can think of no other study greater than the revelations of God through His Scriptures. I am so grateful to the Lord for the way He is re-shaping me through this study. I now seek to live my life sharing the grace that I have been given. I do not have to keep score anymore. To know God’s grace for me is the greatest gift I can have, and being able to give it to others completes the circle and the purpose for my life. Grace relates to the person inside by completing us. We put a lot of “stuff” inside us to fulfill us, but ultimately, like new clothing becomes old and used, it wears off. If you would like to understand how to experience this grace and to truly know God, then go to my website and under publications read December Part II, Heaven’s Hope, Grace Unmeasured.

There is no greater gift than to truly know God’s love for you. So thank you for coming to Part II where I am able to talk candidly about having a personal relationship with the Lord. To know that you know the Lord, and more importantly to know that He knows you and is with you, is such a great strength and confidence. It has made all the difference in my life. As a husband, father, employer and friend, I am many more times the man than I would have been otherwise.

My life of faith has been a journey for sure, and it is one that I am still on. At times, that journey is hard and trying. So why do I bother? Because faith has present and eternal rewards. And the benefits are not just for me, but also for those whom I love.  I’ve learned  that mean or thoughtless actions  and  words are hard to take back.  When I act and speak according to my faith, I minimize my regrets, and promote healing and understanding. More importantly, I enjoy many more moments when I can reflect back on the events of the day and say, “Thank you Lord that I acted or answered in that way.  It is awesome to realize that I can not only influence someone for their present good, but also for their eternal well- being. It’s like .   throwing a stone in a  pond: the ripples extend well beyond the point of entry. They just keep going. I liken faith to that.  You never really know how much of an impact a life of faith will have on your love ones, friends and co -workers.  This thought encourages me, making me press on in my life of faith.

I realize that these ideas may be hard to grasp right now. It is my hope that this article, which is written in a question-answer format, will help you to understand the life of faith and see how near to us the Lord is.

Q. How do I begin to know the Lord?

A. Knowing the Lord is more about the heart, than the head. The Lord says, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). The heart hears this and responds. It says, “I want to come. I want to experience the rest that the Lord has for me–that place where I know I’m home.”

Life can be challenging, and   some of us face extraordinary challenges, but we all know what it means to be weighed down by the cares and stresses of this life. We may be dealing with issues at work, financial difficulties, family troubles, or struggles within ourselves, or all of the above. These trials make us weary and long for rest. The Lord calls us to find rest in Him, rather than to continue to struggle on our own.

Q.  How do I find that rest once my heart is willing? Do I need to do anything to save myself? 

A. God’s path of salvation is complete; it needs nothing more on our part other than our faith and an understanding of some very important Biblical truths, but it starts with faith. Any attempt to “save ourselves” outside of God’s provision is effort put in the wrong direction. Like driving to an unknown destination without a map or GPS, it is effort and time wasted. .

Q.  What is faith? 

A. The dictionary defines faith as belief in, devotion to or trust in something or someone, especially without logical proof.  We’ll talk more about logical proof in a moment. For now, I want you to see that, broadly speaking, faith can have any object—whether that object is riches or Santa Claus. This is important to understand because our beliefs shape our thoughts and our actions. Just think about how hard young children try to keep off Santa’s naughty list before Christmas time!

Since faith shapes our thoughts and actions,   God asks us to have faith in Him. Yet He does not ask for blind faith. He provides proof of His existence in Creation. When we look at a painting, we know that there is  a painter. When we see a landscape, we know that it was designed  by a landscaper. So in like manner, when we see Creation which is vast and great beyond human comprehension, we acknowledge a Creator.

Therefore faith in God is based on what can be known of Him through Creation and His Word, which is the Bible. These tell us that He is all-wise, all-powerful and all-loving.  So when we have difficulties in our life and don’t have all the answers, we can put faith in God’s promises because we already know that He is Great enough to help us.

Q. Is it really enough to say that I believe? 

A.  As already discussed, true faith shapes our thoughts and our actions. So when the heart first says “I believe,” it is the beginning point of a new life.   It can be likened to a key that opens the door to a beautiful and fully- furnished home.  Faith is the “key” to knowing God.

By faith we believe what He says about our sinful nature and that our sins have separated us from him; by faith we  believe that He provided the means to have our sins forgiven and to restore fellowship with Him through Jesus Christ. Through the Cross, Jesus’s death redeemed us from the consequences of our own sin. Faith says, “I believe, forgive me for my sins.” This is the importance of faith. Without it nothing of God’s person or promises can be experienced.

Q. Apart from faith is there any attribute that will help my faith to grow??  

A. Yes, there is one attribute that completes faith. It is humility, without which faith will be compromised.

Humility is a subject that is misunderstood in our society. We think that humility equates to thinking little of oneself.  In actuality, that kind of “humility” is a form of pride.   Whether I think I am God’s gift to man, or an accident waiting to happen, I am still thinking about me, fixating on myself.  True humility thinks more on God than self. Whatever I am or am not, God is bigger still.  My “fixation” is not on me, but on who He is.

Humility helps us to trust what He has ordained, to desire obedience to Him and to hunger to know Him more and more.

Q. How do I have a relationship with God?

A. God has given us what are called the “means of grace” to help us grow in our relationship with Him. These are reading His Word, prayer and going to church.  The means of grace allows the seedling of our faith to grow and mature in our soul, giving us confidence. Our faith in and love for God grows as we grow.

Q. How important is it that I read the Bible regularly?

A. As mentioned, the Bible is one of the means of grace.  Far from being a slice of stagnant history, it is one of the most significant ways God uses to speak to His people in every generation.  If you read a magazine, your thoughts may be influenced. The Bible influences not only your thoughts, but also your heart and soul. Because the Bible is influential in the life of the believer, it is the book that is most often attacked by non-believers. There are so many statements that misrepresent the Bible, but to a believer these statements only show that the critics have not read the whole Bible, or  they have read it absent of faith and humility. As one theologian described the Bible, “It is God’s  love letter to His people.” To the unbelieving critics this same theologian simply responded by saying “you should not be surprised, as a stranger, that you do not understand someone else’s mail.”

As a student of the scriptures, I am convinced that the Bible is God’s Word to us. I have studied it for almost forty years and can testify that the Spirit of God uses the Bible to transform lives as he has transformed mine. Gainsayers and mockers of the Bible can say what they will; it does not change what I know by experience to be true.

This experience will be yours, too, if you regularly read the Scriptures.  The Bible is the “active” Word of God, which he says “will not return to Him void.” In other words, it will produce the results of holy living in His people. In the pages of Scripture you will learn who God is, what he has done and continues to do for His people, and His promises that are fulfilled in Christ. Equally significantly, you will learn how God wants us to live in light of those promises.

Q. How do I learn to trust Him?

A.  Just like any relationship, the more you know a person the more confident you are that you can trust them.  It is no different with the Lord. The more you know Him, the easier it is to trust Him with the concerns of your life. If Sundays are the only day you hear about the Lord or consider Him, it will be very difficult to trust Him. However if you make a commitment to pray and read regularly as discussed, then when the challenges of life come your way, trusting Him will not seem such a “leap of faith.” In time it will become second nature to trust the Lord, the “normal thing” for you to do. With that said, let’s have our first Bible study:

In the Gospel of John, Chapter 3 verses 16-17 we read: ” For God so loved the world [that’s you and me], that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth [trusts] in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”

Whoever says that God is vindictive has not read this passage. The verses tell us that God not only loves, but LOVES FIRST.  Other key verses are found in John, Chapter 10 verses 9 – 11.  Here we hear Jesus speaking to his disciples.  He says:  “I am the door:  by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy [referring to anything contrary to his truth].  I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.”  This is what Jesus did when He gave His life for us on the cross.  So in these two passages from John, we can see God’s heart towards us and His purpose in sending Christ to us.

I have prepared some more studies in the form of short devotionals that will complete the balance of what needs to be shared. They are in an attachment to this letter and can be accessed by clicking on them. Please read them. They are part of a weekly devotional called Vida4U that is emailed out (Vida is Spanish for life). I would encourage you to send us your email so we can add you to the distribution.  The three devotionals that are attached explain important truths regarding salvation and each has a suggested prayer to help you in learning to pray.

My purpose for “The Greatest Gift Part II” was to speak with you as though we were sitting together in a coffee shop, answering your questions and helping you to get started on the right path. I want you to understand the importance of a heart response to God. To be confident knowing that your salvation is complete, you do not need to do “good works” to earn your salvation. “Good works” are a response because of your salvation, not for your salvation. Your salvation has been accomplished and completed by Christ, nothing more than your faith is required. And because of that, faith is critical. When faith is coupled with humility, regular Bible studies, prayer, church attendance and some patience, you will start growing in your new life.  As food feeds the physical body, Bible study feeds the “spirit man/woman” in you. Monday through Friday I read during my lunch break and it’s the first thing I do on the weekends.

If you do not own a Bible, I would recommend the New International Version (NIV). It is a good translation for Bible study.  There are also short devotional books that are broken down in topics, such as depression, anger, finances, forgiveness, God’s love etc. that list verses on what the Bible says about these areas. Turn to the verses that address the concern you have and study them; it will help your faith to grow.

Always pray before you read the Bible, asking for the Lord to teach you. When He speaks to your spirit, or impresses you with a truth, write it down and review it. Don’t be surprised if shortly thereafter some difficulty comes testing your resolve to hold on to that truth. Lastly the verses I picked to study with you, and there’s many more like them, I wanted you to read and know God’s intent towards us. It is for love that God sent his Son to save us, and Jesus willingness was out of love for us to become our sacrifice. Any other understanding outside of this is misaligned and frankly wrong. And again I explain sacrifice, and other important truths in the Vida4U devotionals attached to this letter.

In closing I thank you for your time. Send me emails with questions or comments to arthur@Vida4U.com, and kindly give me a few days to respond.  God be with you, Amen.