As I again read the gospel account of Christ’s passion for myself, two more truths seem so relevant that I wanted to share them.
Matthew 26:31: “Then, Jesus said unto the disciples, all ye shall be offended because of me this night. For it is written, I will smite the shepherd and the sheep shall flee.” Vs.33: “Peter answered and said, though all men shall be offended because of thee, yet will I never be offended.” Vs.34: “Jesus said to Peter, this night, Peter, before the rooster crows, you will have denied me three times.” “Peter said, though I should die with thee, I will never deny thee. And all the others said the same.”
We know from the gospel accounts that Peter did deny the Lord, as did all the other disciples, except for John. We also know that upon hearing the rooster crow three times, Peter realized that Jesus’s words came true; that he had denied the man that he swore he would be willing to die for, and the accounts read, “And he went out and wept bitterly (Luke 22:61).” What happened? Did Peter, as well as the other disciples, lie, or do we really lack knowledge of ourselves? I do not believe that the disciples lied—they meant it. So, what happened? Do we, like them, believe we can predict our actions in a given situation? Can we really be so sure of ourselves? I believe that until we actually face the challenge, we really don’t know our response. There is a saying that is fairly accurate, “Until the fire burns, we really do not know its pain or our response to it.” Trials, difficulties, and frustrations introduce ourselves to ourselves. That may sound a little strange, but what about our phrase, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to say that or do that.” What about our own sense of personal wrong, whether the action occurred at work or at home? We do not know ourselves as well as we think we do. King David prayed this prayer, “Search me, Oh Lord, and know my ways and see if there be any wickedness within me.” David acknowledged a gap in his knowledge of himself, and later he asked the Lord, “Heal my ways.” These are both great prayers.
Do you think that the Lord was disappointed or angry at Peter for denying him, for surely he was not “the Rock” that Christ had named him prior? By all appearances, Peter failed. There is an intimate exchange between Peter and Jesus in John 21, after the resurrection. The disciples went fishing per Peter’s suggestion, toiled all night catching nothing, and as they were coming in from a frustrating night, Jesus, unrecognized by them, called out to them to cast out their net on the right side of their boat. With the sun rising, causing the fish to go out into deeper water, this was a foolish suggestion. Their net only caught surface fish, but they did it—maybe with a flicker of hope and against their better knowledge. The account reads, “So they cast it (their net), and now they were not able to haul it in, because of the quantity of fish. That disciple (most likely was John), whom Jesus loved, therefore said to Peter, ‘It is the Lord!'” From a fisherman’s perspective, this was a miracle—sun equals no fish. That was the rule by which they lived. What was Jesus saying to them? What is Jesus saying to us? We are not fishermen, but work is work, and failure is common to us all, so what can we learn?
There is still one more part to this before we can draw application. Once the men were at shore with their catch, they find Jesus around a fire with fish already cooking and bread warming. Jesus invited them to sit down and eat. This is now the third time Jesus had appeared to them after his physical death. After they had eaten, Jesus has a very specific dialogue with Peter. It appears on the surface that Jesus is asking the same question three times, but is he? “Simon (using his prior name), do you love (Agapao: self-sacrificing love) me more than these (maybe referring to the other disciples or maybe pointing to the fish, representing his career)? Peter said, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you (Phileo: love you as a friend).” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” This goes on two more times and by the third time, it says, “Peter was grieved (to afflict with sorrow) and said, ‘Lord thou knowest everything; thou knowest that I Phileo you.'” Prior to Peter’s response and the reason why Peter was so grieved was when Jesus asked the third time, he changed the word Agapao, a superior love, to Phileo, and in a sense asked, “Do you really even Phileo me?” Now, we can understand why Peter was grieved. It is bad enough to know you failed, but to have the one thing you believe you are sure of brought into question is to make the failure that much more pronounced. Yet, given Peter’s failure, Jesus does not change his response to Peter. He still says, “Feed my lambs.”
Let’s make application. Often when we fail, we get labelled or label ourselves, or an opportunity is missed because of our failure. With Christ, failure is our entrance into Divine Grace—the beginning of a walk built on trust, not works. It is no longer what I can do for God or what I can do by my strength, because I know I can’t. I failed, and more than likely will fail again. If I am to be pleasing to God, it is now what he can do through me. All I can give him is a willing vessel, and I am not even sure of that. Failure causes humility; humility causes dependence upon the arm of the Spirit, not the arm of the flesh. And failure makes Grace that much more precious. How do you think Peter felt, when even in his failure, Jesus calling upon him does not change, “Even if you just Phileo me Peter, and questionable at that, still feed my lambs.” Peter preached the first sermon of the church in an open square and 3,000 people were converted—from failure to victory; from trusting in my ability to trusting in God’s ability through me. We must learn that this is the path of faith—the path of victory.
Father God,
Thank you for Peter’s failure, for in it I see myself, and in it, I see your love, noncondemning but always pressing us forward to mature faith. Let me learn to get out of the way and yield to you a willing heart and mind for you to use. Thank you and Amen.