For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light;
And reproofs of instruction are the way of life:
To keep thee from the evil woman,
From the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.
Lust not after her beauty in thine heart;
Neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: And the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.
Can a man take fire in his bosom,
And his clothes not be burned?
Can one go upon hot coals,
And his feet not be burned?
As we make our way through Proverbs, I am selecting verses that have had a profound effect on my life. With respect to marital purity, these verses, plus the rest in Chapter 6 and including Chapters 5 & 7, have been profound. Sexual immorality is probably one of the easiest sins to commit, especially if you define it as Christ has in Matthew 5:28: “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her (or women towards men) hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” For singles, it would be fornication. The standard that Christ holds out is so impossible that it is ridiculous to most people. Who doesn’t lust? Who doesn’t see the opposite sex and have desire in their heart? As one movie star put it, we are sexual creatures. (I can’t remember which one, but you could almost pick anyone of them. The majority are monsters when it comes to living out their passions.) But is Christ really being ridiculous, or is He trying to keep us from becoming slaves to our passions? In Proverbs 5:21-23 it says: “For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings. His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden (in the sense of being trapped, like an animal caught) with the cords (ropes used to bind animals) of his sins. He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.” I think Christ knows us better than we know ourselves and loves us more.
“For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:”
I cannot express to you how much I love this verse, maybe because my dad never instructed me in this respect. I think he fully expected me to be like my peers, having no restraint whatsoever in their lives. This verse was and is like a bright light pointing the way. And as hard as restraint was, it was doable with the inner conviction that this was right. It was right, not just on the physical level, but on the emotional and spiritual level as well. Sooner or later, sin catches up with you, just as Proverbs 5:21-23 says. As I became older and observed my peers, some of whom used to be my best friends, I discovered that they were not any happier living indulgent lives. In fact, the baggage they were beginning to carry was becoming more encompassing and heavy. They were becoming “jaded” from their failed relationships. I was learning that the gift of intimacy was powerful, and if used carelessly for selfish means, it caused much hurt and deep wounds. In its proper context, I would learn that it was a binding (solidifying) strength between two people, though it took time and maturity to develop and appreciate it. Lust/sex circumvents the process of building a relationship—a foundation based upon friendship, respect and love. Lust makes intimacy shallow, cheap, easy, and valueless. The appreciation for one another becomes circumvented, and hence respect will never be built. Without respect, a relationship will fail.
“To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.”
The word “evil” (raah) encompasses all the degrees of evil, from extremely morally wrong to “shades of gray.” An example of very wrong would be a woman (or man) who sets out to “trap” a man (or woman) sexually, so in the end to ruin them. She has no affection for him at all. She is both the huntress and the bait and is in “the game” for her own means. This word “raah” means that. On the other end of this word, we could have a situation where two working companions, having no sexual interest in each other, have an evening drink just to wind down after a stressful day and end up having sex. The next day there is regret, and there could be some very serious consequences, but what was done was not by intent but because of the weakness of the flesh. This is that word evil as well. Either by intent or by accident, sin was committed and the damage was done. How can this be prevented? A good defense is an unstoppable offense, which for us is an active, growing relationship with Christ. If this is not happening with you, why isn’t it happening?
“From the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.”
Flattery is a strong tool, and many are caught by it. We want people to like us and to think well of us. We tend to gravitate towards these people; however, there should come a point when an internal alarm goes off and says “enough is enough” and insincerity is being sensed. Humility is the characteristic in us that sends up the warning: “I am just not comfortable with this person; their presence is more a come-on than genuine.” And when one receives true praise, instinctively humility says, “Amen. Thank you. I am grateful for His work in my life.” In Proverbs 29:5 it says, “A man that flattereth his neighbor spreadeth a net for his feet.” And in Psalm 5:9 it says, “For there is no faithfulness in their mouth; their inward part is very wickedness; their throat is an open sepulchre; they flatter with their tongue.” Webster defines flattering as “to praise excessively, especially from motives of self-interest.” Hence, it is the use of praise to manipulate someone into doing or giving me what I want. And we seem to be particularly vulnerable to this if it involves the opposite sex, especially if there is an attraction.
“Lust not after her beauty in thine heart;” (or his beauty)
What is lust? Is it not a strong emotional pull, wanting that which does not belong to us? Uncontrolled, it supersedes our relationship with God; therefore, it becomes our idol, replacing God. How strong can lust become? We have a good example between Amnon, King David’s son, and Tamar, King David’s daughter, making her Amnon’s half sister. In 2 Samuel 13:10-12, 14-15 and 17, it says:
“And Amnon said unto Tamar,
Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand.
And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother.
And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her,
Come lie with me, my sister.
And she answered him,
Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.
Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.
Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her (guilt?).
And Amnon said unto her,
Arise, be gone.
Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said,
Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her.”
If you read the text prior to these verses, you will see that Amnon was making himself literally sick over his lust for his sister. Uncontrolled lust is like a fire in dry timber—it destroys both the bearer and the recipient. Amnon later was killed by Absalom, his half brother, Tamar’s older brother.
“Neither let her take thee with her eyelids.”
Lust can be between men and women, over homes, cars, money, position or a million other things. It is part of our fallen nature. So to feel it is unfortunately normal; however, as believers, to have it control us is not normal. That doesn’t mean it’s not a struggle. Understand that lust is in essence spiritual. It is rivaling God for our devotion. It is felt in the soul, luring us into believing that it can fulfill us, as opposed to the Lord. And it is initiated in the flesh, through our sight and physical needs. It affects all three levels, and on all three levels, it tries to mimic/ duplicate what is found in the Spirit. To overcome it, we must frequently meditate on verses that speak to our specific struggle. Also, finding a friend with whom you can share and pray is super helpful. Do not allow condemnation to rule you when you fail. Conviction is from the Holy Spirit trying to bring you back home through repentance. Condemnation is from the enemy trying to push you away from the Lord. Remember God’s promise in Isaiah 1:18:
“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord:
Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow;
Though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”
Daily, we need to be filled, just as daily we need to eat. If you are unhealthy physically, one question would be, “What are you eating?” If you are losing the battle to lust, the question would be, “Spiritually, what are you feeding on?” Remember last week’s devotional, “Junk In, Junk Out,” or “Righteousness In and Truth Out?” The stewardship of our desires falls squarely on each person’s shoulders. In the scriptures, there is no clause: “He made me do it.” Instead, there is, “Resist the devil, and he will flee.” Even so, failure does occur. Peter denied the Lord, and in essence that is what sin is, denying the Lord and saying yes to myself. Peter felt terrible afterwards, so much so that the Lord needed to restore him—the very person that he denied. He learned that “his arm of flesh” was weak. He learned that God’s forgiveness was strong. It is only with the Holy Spirit that we can stand, and the best way to stand is to stay full. If I just finished eating a great meal, I will not hunger for more, even if you place it in front of me; however, if I have not eaten, especially for some time, my strength to resist is not there. Even if it is food that is not good for me, my hunger drives me, and I will eat. If we can understand that, then we understand how the human soul works as well. A main key to resisting and defeating lust is to stay full. Then you can, “Resist the devil, and he will flee.” In James 4:7 it says: Submit yourselves therefore to God (submit, to come under or stay full). Resist the devil (stand against), and he will flee from you.” Satan is no match for a believer who knows his or her place in the Lord. Unfortunately, not many of us do.
Father God,
In war, soldiers get in trouble when the battle lines get confused. It is the same with us. We think that this is the problem or that is the problem and it is not. The only battle I fight—the only true battle—deals with myself and in bringing myself into fellowship with You daily. In between You and me, there are going to be problems—smoke screens to get me looking away from You. I must keep You between my “problems” and me. For in Your presence, the problems are not nearly what they appear to be when I am away from You. Thank you and Amen.
Arthur Navarrette